The Daily Donald
It really is the Daily Donald. As in … every day. Every damn day. Like a bad cold, Fuckface Von Clownstick (h/t Jon Stewart) just won’t go away.
The headline on a CNN column yesterday read: Donald Trump hits new lows.
Really? New lows???? Where I come from, we call that a “standing hed.” Keep it around. We’ll be using it again tomorrow. And the day after. It’s right up there with Gunman Robs Convenience Store.
Because with Von Clownstick, every day brings another new low.
I don’t even know where to start. How about torture? You got a problem with torture? Think that’s something only the bad guys do? Vonnie C. doesn’t. Vonnie C. loves torture.
In fact, Vonnie C. loves it so much, he’ll double down:
“Would I approve waterboarding? You bet your ass.”
C’mon … What kind of wuss doesn’t like torture? John McCain? You gonna listen to John McCain, or Vonnie C? You know what Vonnie C. says:
Vonnie C. especially likes torture because he vividly remembers watching TV on 9/11 and seeing thousands of Muslims in Jersey City cheering as the Twin Towers came down.
So what if there isn’t a TV producer or director who remembers airing such a thing? SO WHAT IF IT NEVER HAPPENED?????
Vonnie C., the gerbil with the orangutan hair, remembers it, and well, he has “the world’s best memory, and everybody knows that.”
And what’s more, “many people” on Twitter say he’s right. And let’s face it, “many people” on Twitter can be wrong.
And now Vonnie C. has doubled down. He’s gotten his campaign manager to accuse the mainstream media of conspiring not to tell you that what never happened actually happened because, you know, Vonnie C. has the world’s greatest memory.
“The media has their own agenda. They want to try and discredit as many people as possible so that they can have an establishment candidate come in and think that everything is going to be the same because they are all controlled by the special interests and they are all controlled by the media and that is what the American people are just so tired of.”
But wait, there’s more:
As factcheck.org notes, that is so way beyond not true. It’s a lie. A whopper of a lie. Eighty-two percent of whites are killed by whites. So what does Vonnie C. have to say now?
“I retweeted somebody that was supposedly an expert, and it was also a radio show.”
Keep in mind that we’re talking about a guy who, in an interview with NBC, said he “would certainly implement” a database system tracking Muslims in the United States.
“I would certainly implement that. Absolutely. There should be a lot of systems, beyond databases. We should have a lot of systems.”
Should Muslims be required by law to sign into the database?
“They have to be — they have to be.”
In an interview with Yahoo! News, Vonnie C. was asked if Muslims in America should be required to have “a special form of identification that noted their religion.” He made no effort to rule it out:
“We’re going to have to — we’re going to have to look at a lot of things very closely. We’re going to have to look at the mosques. We’re going to have to look very, very carefully.”
Hey … Where have we seen this before? Give me a minute … I’ll think of it …
Got it!
And that’s not all.
The Eric Wemple Blog offers a handy-dandy guide to this dope’s lying ways:
- PolitiFact has compiled 52 rulings that land on the false side of the organization’s truth spectrum.
- Washington Post: “Donald Trump is constantly lying.”
- Washington Post: “Trump’s outrageous claim that ‘thousands’ of New Jersey Muslims celebrated the 9/11 attacks“
- Business Insider: “Fact-checkers are shredding Donald Trump’s claims he saw people ‘cheering’ on 9/11“
- Daily Beast: “Chris Christie Tiptoes Around Donald Trump’s 9/11 Lie“
- Business Insider: “Donald Trump is spreading dangerous lies about Syrian refugees“
- BBC: “Trump ‘wrong’ in claiming US Arabs cheered 9/11 attacks”
- Inside Edition (URL): “Donald Trump: I Saw Thousands of American Muslims Celebrating After 9/11“
- Slate: “Trump’s Week of Fearmongering and Falsehoods“
- Houston Chronicle: “Donald Trump’s claim that ‘thousands’ of New Jersey Arabs celebrated 9/11 has no support“
- Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “What Donald Trump might have seen on 9/11. Hint: Not ‘cheering’ Arabs“
- The Telegraph: “Donald Trump repeats discredited claims that US Muslims ‘celebrated’ 9/11 attacks“
And then there’s this, which speaks for itself.
So this is where we point out that Vonnie C. is leading all other Republican presidential contenders by a wide margin. He’s not just a WWE clown in tights throwing chairs around. He could actually be the GOP candidate for president next year. So let’s give Tom Toles the last word:
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Seen this?
Kansas official criticized for slideshow of criminals named ‘Mohammed’
How about this?
Cruz to Obama: Debate me, insult me to my face
“I would encourage you, Mr. President, if you want to insult me, come back and insult me to my face,” Cruz said of Obama, who is in the Philippines.
“Let’s have a debate on Syrian refugees right now,” he added. “We can do it anywhere you want. I’d prefer it in the United States and not overseas where you’re making the insults. It’s easy to toss a cheap insult when no one can respond.”
Tough guy, Ted Cruz. Maybe he’ll get the nomination instead of Vonnie C. … and then he’ll get clobbered by … a girl!
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Tempus fugit
Some young’uns had birthdays last week. This is hard to believe
11/19: Fifty-four!
11/19: Fifty-three!
11/20: Fifty-Nine!
11/20: Also Fifty-Nine!
11/21: SEVENTY!
11/24: Fifty-Four!
I don’t want to talk about it.
— 30 —
Woke up this morning ... 