Geronimo

As noted in a previous post, my first real boss, Ike Gellis, called me “Geronimo.” And my friend Susan is asking why.

It’s one of numerous nicknames I’ve been saddled with over a few score years. And, of course, there’s a story to it. But first some background . . .

When I was born, the name Stephen/Steven was very much in vogue. You could say we Steves were the Jacobs of our day.

I wasn’t aware of it until I went to day camp. I was 6, and I was in a group of 11 boys. We had five — that’s right, FIVE — Steves.

So I quickly became Hamburger for the summer. I ate them a lot for lunch, and I reckon it was a natural nickname for a guy named Bromberg.

In the fourth grade, I became Steve B, so as not to be confused with Steve W. In sleepaway camp, I was just Bromberg. There was at least one other Steve in my group; I don’t even remember his last name.

In my first summer job — I was a day camp counselor — the other guy was also named Steve. Two counselors, two Steves. Of course. I became Little Steve. I was taller than Big Steve, but he was “bigger.” I was 16 and looked 14. Big Steve Nahoum owned a razor and actually used it.

In college, I got by as Bromberg for a while, until Mike Levy decided to bestow names on a whole bunch of us. He named himself Big Louie. Terry became Birdie. Mark became Bimbo the Yucker. I was given the name Booger, and so I remained through graduation.

It could have been worse. Another friend, Bob Schindler, went through his college years carrying the name “Shit.” I saw him at a reunion last year. Everyone came up and said “Hey Shit, how are ya?”

So I could live with Booger.

When I got to the New York Post, I actually was Steve for a short while. Make that a very short while. They brought in another sports editorial clerk named — what else? — Steve. Maybe you’ve heard of him . . . Steve Serby, sports columnist for the New York Post.

Serby and I were both in our young 20s and every time Ike would shout “STEVE!” we’d both leap to our feet, because we had big futures in our sights. No slackers, we.

Ike immediately identified a problem. Two Steves was one too many. Something had to be done.

Flashback to a couple of months earlier, when I got my first byline.

In the summer of 1973 there was a concert at Watkins Glen, N.Y. — 37 miles south of Hobart College, my alma mater. The Grateful Dead performed. The Band performed. The Allman Bros. performed. SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE were there. . .

And I wasn’t one of them. I was the Hobart graduate with a job. In New York City. Just my luck.

One guy died at Watkins Glen.

Per Wikipedia:

Although there were no reports of violence at Watkins Glen, the day was marred by the death of Willard Smith, 35, a skydiver from Syracuse, New York. Smith dived from an airplane carrying flares. One of the flares ignited his body suit, and he was engulfed in flames. Smith’s body was eventually found in the woods near the concert site.

I was at The Post, culling sports photos from the AP feed, regretting that I wasn’t at the Glen with the Dead, the Band and the Allmans, when I came across a photo of the crazy skydiver who had died jumping into the concert.

I knew him as Bill. Bill Smith — Smitty — had been my skydiving instructor just one year earlier. I did eight jumps at the one-strip airport in Seneca Falls under his tutelage.

Smitty was former Army, if I recall correctly, and he was an awesome skydiver. I once watched him place a styrofoam cup upside-down in the middle of a field, go up maybe 20,000 feet and crush it with his foot when he landed.

He and a bunch of other very experienced skydivers loved to jump with flares. They’d light the things and they would trail colored smoke on the way down. Only this day, one of those flares malfunctioned and Smitty’s jumpsuit caught on fire. When you’re in midair coming down from an airplane, you can’t put out a blaze. He was dead before he hit the ground.

I went over to a couple of editors on the city desk and told them I knew the guy, and this was not a story about some drug-addled jerk doing an ill-advised stunt at a rock concert. Smitty’s number was just up, was all.

And they told me to write the story. They told ME to write the story. And I did . . . And they put it on Page 2 of the Post. That’s right — PAGE TWO! I was 22-years-old with a byline on Page 2 of the New York Post. Circulation went up that day. My parents bought half the papers in Brooklyn.

End of flashback.

Ike had to solve the Steve/Steve predicament, and he said I needed a nickname. I told him my college friends called me Booger, and he blanched. One of the definitions of “booger” was “a worthless, despicable person.” The Urban dictionary has a definition for “scam booger” — “an african american. More specifically, an african american sitting on a porch without a job looking for an easy buck.” — and I think that’s the definition Ike was familiar with. He made very clear that he wasn’t going to call me Booger.

And so he remembered my skydiving past and he named me Geronimo. Because, you know, that’s what he figured skydivers shout when they jump out of airplanes.

And if you go to the New York Post today, 25 years after I left the joint, you may still find a handful of people who knew Geronimo. They may not even know my name was Steve.

— 30 —

Worth reading, 06/19/13

A couple of fine columns today by two of the best.

Read Maureen Dowd in the New York Times for her insights on the Whitey Bulger trial:

Johnny “The Executioner” Martorano, who turned government witness and copped to killing 20 men and women as part of Whitey Bulger’s Winter Hill Gang, explained to Whitey’s lawyer Tuesday in federal court here that he was motivated by love of family and friends.

“I didn’t enjoy killing anybody,” he said. “I enjoyed helping a friend if I could.”

If anybody insulted, implicated or roughed up his brother or a friend’s brother, if anybody looked at him funny while he was with a date, if anybody ratted on his fellow gang members, if anybody could eyewitness a crime committed by an “associate,” he grabbed a .38 or a knife, a fake beard, a walkie-talkie or a towel to keep the blood off his car, and sprang into action. And somebody usually ended up in a trunk somewhere, sometimes still groaning.

And read Kathleen Parker in the Washington Post because, hey, you gotta love a column that features the word fecundity:

Distilled to a slogan, politics of late goes something like this: “I’m more fertile than you are.”

It seems fecundity is emerging as the best argument for public office, policy or even citizenship. What was once an unconscious appraisal — Is this person strong, healthy and vital? — has morphed into the sort of explicit review one usually associates with an X rating….

This brings us unavoidably to Sarah Palin, who reminded us recently that fertility is the ultimate trump card.

__________

Study Finds Sharp Drop in HPV Infections in Girls (New York Times)

Imagine that. You vaccinate girls against HPV, and the world doesn’t come to an end. And fewer women will get cervical cancer. This is awful news, right family-values types?

Waiting to hear from Michele Bachmann on this.

__________

The Privilege of the Unpaid Intern (New York Times)

I’ve worked at places where the internships were unpaid. The kids got a great experience, and the companies took full advantage of their hard work. And mommy and daddy picked up the tab. And that’s just plain wrong.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that if internships are unpaid, the only kids who will be able to fill the “jobs” will be those who can afford not to make any money. Try to work your way out of poverty with that restriction. Hey kid, your mom gets food stamps? This internship — your pathway to a good career — just isn’t for you.

__________

Columbia’s Cons: Ivy League social work program run by team of former prisoners (FOXNews.com)

EXCLUSIVE: In the hallowed halls of Columbia University, a nest of ex-cons — who have served time for murder, attempted murder, robbery and assault — hold court on their unique brand of social justice for admiring students enrolled in the school’s social work program, a FoxNews.com investigation has found.

The ex-cons work for or with the Criminal Justice Initiative (CJI), co-founded in 2009 by former Weather Underground operative and Columbia adjunct professor Kathy Boudin, who pleaded guilty to felony murder for her role in an infamous 1981 armed robbery that left two police officers and a security guard dead. And while that case was well-publicized, the group is hardly upfront about the “practical experience” of Boudin and others associated with the CJI.

I lived in Nyack for 25 years, and the 1981 murder of Officers Waverly Brown and Sean O’Grady will never be forgotten. I still can’t figure out how Kathy Boudin went from a life of privilege to a murderer. But I also can’t figure out why she’s an adjunct professor at Columbia University.

Say what you will about Fox News’ motives in this story. I’ll say this . . . They’re right.

__________

Corrections and amplifications (Wall Street Journal)

A Bloody Mary recipe, which accompanied an Off Duty article in some editions on June 8 about the herb lovage, called for 12 ounces of vodka and 36 ounces of tomato juice. The recipe as printed incorrectly reversed the amounts, calling for 36 ounces of vodka and 12 ounces of tomato juice.

Lucky me

I saw Lucky Guy last night, and it reminded me how much I loved newspapering. Every day was a new day. The quiet ones were the worst. But even then, you knew the phone could ring any second and change everything.

I got a 1 a.m. call that Billy had referred to Reggie and George with the immortal words, “One’s a born liar, the other’s convicted.” I was there when the managing editor, Vinnie Musetto, told the metropolitan editor, Marc Kalech, that the Challenger launch would get 12 inches or so on Page 13, “and let me know if it crashes.” I was there for Headless Body in Topless Bar.

I inhaled way too much second-hand smoke and saw way too many reporters perform miracles under the influence of way too much alcohol. But the competition between The Post and The Daily News was thrilling.

I was night sports editor at The Post when McAlary and Drury were reporters, and I did not know how much both wanted to cover the city. McAlary wanted to be Breslin. Drury wanted to be Hunter Thompson.

McAlary came much closer. So happy that he won the Pulitzer, so sad that he died so young.

They were great days, and they’re gone now. But I was there when they were great, and nobody can take that away from me.

Not gonna work

Image

AT&T to Introduce Solar-Powered Charging Stations. (New York Times)

Starting Tuesday, 25 solar-powered charging stations will sprout in parks, beaches and other outdoor spaces in the five boroughs, part of a pilot project from the wireless provider in partnership with the city. The stations — 12.5-foot steel poles with three petal-shaped solar panels fanning out on top — can accommodate up to six devices at a time regardless of wireless carrier, with dedicated ports for iPhones, Androids, BlackBerrys and standard USB charging cables.

A very cool idea. But seriously, folks . . .

Who’s going to stand around this charger cocktail table in the middle of the beach at Coney Island for half an hour waiting to get a 30 percent charge on his iPhone? Or even worse . . . standing around for two hours in Bryant Park waiting for a full charge?

I suppose we could leave our phones there and go for a cup of . . . no we can’t. This is New York. Chances of finding the iPhone where you left it are about as good as the Mets coming back to win the World Series this year.

Not to mention what’s going to happen when a hundred people want to use the same recharge stand. This isn’t London; we don’t queue up in an orderly manner.

I don’t have high hopes for this one.

Messing with the masters

You don’t mess with the master. Don’t even think about singing “Respect.” Aretha did it, and you’ll only do it worse. “My Girl”? Forget about it. The Temptations did it; your effort won’t compare. “Over the Rainbow”? Not even The Genius himself, Ray Charles, could match Judy Garland.

But once in a while, someone pulls it off. Ray gave us a perfect song, “Georgia on My Mind.” Put it on a loop. Let it play forever. But Willie Nelson’s version is worthy of comparison. Sometimes, if you’re brilliant — and Willie is brilliant — you can take a perfect song and still make it yours.

Last night, on “The Voice,” the four judges — Shakira, Adam Levine, Blake Shelton and Usher — tackled Lennon-McCartney’s “A Little Help From My Friends.”

And they killed it. Hit it right out of the park.

But here’s what struck me . . .

“A Little Help From My Friends” is a pop song, a cute little ditty from the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Album.

It’s a wonderful song, from possibly the greatest album of all time. But it’s not the defining version of the song. The defining version, the one against which you match all challengers, was done by Joe Cocker.

The first time we heard Cocker’s version, it spun our heads around. Cocker took on the master, and he slayed him. THIS was how it should be done. Cocker took a song from Sgt. Pepper’s and he made it his. If you want to mess with the master, you mess with Cocker — not the Beatles — on this one.

So kudos to the Voice judges for doing it right, and kudos to Joe Cocker for showing us all how a great song by the greatest group of all time can be done even greater.

And happy 71st birthday to Paul McCartney. Only wish John and George were around to help you celebrate.

Paul+McCartney

Ike

Image

My first real-world boss was Ike Gellis, the legendary sports editor of the New York Post. How I got the job is told in this post. How I kept it will never cease to amaze me.

Ike sat behind a large wood desk in the middle of the sports department, a filthy room in a decrepit fortress of a building on South Street. He was lord of the room, able to see everything, hear everything.

Ike was described in Pete Hamill’s book, A Drinking Life, as “the world’s shortest Jew.” And he very well may have been. He stood about 4-11 in heels. That’s him at the top, in the center, his feet way off the ground, decades before we crossed paths. Ike was much older — and shorter — by the time I met him. (The Post’s longtime and hugely respected executive editor, Paul Sann, is on the right.)

There was a man named “Iggy” in the mailroom down the hall. He would stand on a stool so he could see through the window that separated his room from anyone coming to pick up or mail a letter. That’s because Iggy was a dwarf. Or as we say these days, a “little person.” He was also the only person in the building who was shorter than Ike. He’d stroll into the sports department now and then . . . and Ike would immediately get out of his chair. We’d all fight our best to suppress falling on the floor in gales of laughter. Iggy walks in, Ike stands up. He sure loved being taller than someone.

I held the lofty title of Sports Editorial Clerk, which meant I was a copy boy who could type a bit. When Ike’s glasses were dirty, he’d hand them to me to run to the bathroom and clean them. When Ike wanted to place a bet with the bookie downstairs, I was the one who went down and placed it. When he invited his friends in the building into the sports department to share some Isaac Gellis kosher hot dogs (yeah, he had a background in kosher meats), I was the one who got to clean out the pan Ike cooked them in. And no, I never got to eat a dog.

One of my assigned daily tasks was to compile the Sports on the Air, the listing of what sports were on TV and radio. It was a very serious job. I had to call all the stations and go through large piles of mail daily to collect all the information, and then make sure I got it right in the paper. Get the starting time of the Knicks game wrong, and all hell would break loose.

Here’s what you need to know about Ike. He was a New Yorker through and through. I think he traveled north of 86th Street only for Yankee games. He thought Yonkers Raceway was upstate. He thought Albany was in Manitoba. And TV was in New York, and that was all there was to it.

One day in late January, Ike was reading the Boston Globe. He looked at the Globe’s sports listings and discovered that the Super Bowl was going to air on Channel 7. But it said right there in the New York Post that it was on Channel 4. Clearly, somebody was wrong. And clearly, it was me.

“Hey Geronimo,” he said, motioning me over. “How come it says in the Boston Globe that the game is on Channel 7 and we say it’s on Channel 4?”

I explained that the NBC affiliate in Boston airs on Channel 7, and that the NBC affiliate in New York airs on Channel 4. This, of course, made no sense whatsoever to my boss.

“Better check it out,” he said.

And he watches as I walk back to my desk and ponder my next move. Do I call the top sports guy at NBC, with whom I spoke regularly, and ask if NBC is planning to air the Super Bowl on Channel 4 in New York? Ike is watching. He’s waiting for me to pick up the phone.

Here’s to Sid Friedlander, assistant sports editor, who took pity on me and ambled over to Ike to explain that NBC would, in fact, air the game on Channel 7 in Boston and Channel 4 in New York. It’s kind of how TV works, Sid told Ike.

Ike didn’t quite understand it, but he could accept it because Sid said it was so. No way he was going to believe me.

Springsteen of the nerds

Portraits of Bill Nye at his home in Studio City, California.

“If you want to deny evolution and live in your world — in your world that’s completely inconsistent with everything we observe in the universe — that’s fine. But don’t make your kids do it, because we need them. We need scientifically literate voters and taxpayers for the future.”

So says Bill Nye, the Science Guy, quoted in this wonderful piece in the New York Times. The writer, John Schwartz, calls him “Springsteen of the nerds.” I love that almost as much as I love Nye, an American hero who is not afraid to tell truth to power.

When science contradicts your religion, try to reconcile one with the other. The science is fact. Your religion shapes who you are, but it does not allow you to deny scientific fact.

Time for some diversity. Or not.

“Letters From Dad” are a routine read on Father’s Day. You round up a few dads, ask them to pen letters to their kids, and you publish them so that readers can nod and think yeah, that’s what fatherhood is all about. The most important thing I’ll ever do and I’m so proud of you and you’re the best thing I’ve ever done and it’s the greatest role I’ll ever play and blah blah blah.

And you know people will read the “letters from Dad,” because they’re the ultimate Father’s Day feelgood.

So wouldn’t you think Time Magazine’s editors would know there are some black dads capable of putting their thoughts into words?

Maybe not, as Mediaite noticed today.

What a dumb omission. Not too smart, Time.